Don’t get me wrong, I'm all for kids expressing themselves artistically, but if I have to find a place to store one more piece of art, I'm going to lose it. It’s not all ‘good’ and some of it is actually ‘shitty’, but yet I keep it all. Because, love.
I have storage bins FULL of paintings and drawings my darling children have created over the years, but I’m at max capacity. So, I've started getting crafty about different ways they can still show off their Jackson Pollock skills that don’t result in a trip to the storage unit with another bin full of masterpieces.
They still get to use markers, highlighters, and eyeliner, but with the added benefit of learning precise surgical site marking. These skills could prove helpful as the world is quickly spiraling towards an apocalyptic state.
Note: do not allow children to use any surgical tools on a live body. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say that, but let’s be very clear- no surgery or procedures should actually be done… Just markers and stuff…are we clear?
When they’ve got that look in their eye that says “I’m feeling creative today and am probably going to need an entire ream of printer paper and glitter glue”, redirect. Have them channel all that Banksy energy into what I like to call ‘living art’, where they become the art with stuff around the house. Costumes, facepaint, temporary tattoos, real tattoos, whatever it takes. Just, for the love of all things sacred, no paper.
On Anything Else
White boards can be your best friend when you’re ‘blessed’ with a child who wants to create. When the white board can no longer contain all of their imagination, move on.
Walls? Fine. Go for it.
Hot Wheels cars? Break out the acrylic paints.
Actual cars? Yep. Window markers were made for situations like this.
Just no fricking paper.
“Okay fine, but wouldn’t it be cute super tiny?!”
Scale it down. If they insist on creating art on paper, get yourself some tiny notebooks. These are both easier to save (if you must) or ‘accidentally lose’.
As I was writing this, I had a revelation.
The concept of NFT’s was definitely created by a parent who was up to their eyeballs in kids’ art. What better way to handle this ‘blessing’ than by creating a universe where you can upload their art and convince them that it is WAY better that way, then throw that shit in the garbage. This. Is. Brilliant.
BRB, heading to the storage unit with a scanner to magically turn this creative clutter into bitcoin.
And by the way, if you have not taken any of this advice and have tons of art around you, Hugo von Hector the Kids' Art Collector comes out March 23rd - in just two days!
Pre-order today and send your receipt to email@example.com to get a coupon code to save $20 on Artkive. Get rid of the clutter. Explain where it went. Get a lovely keepsake to commemorate the work of your favorite, and most prolific, artist. Win, win, win.