Ahhhhh....the zoo. One of those universal experiences that sounds so much better than it is. Actually, despite the crowds and the perpetual dance around ethical questions of captivity versus conservation, I enjoy taking my kids to the zoo. Since my son has become a Wild Kratts stan, he's taken to sharing animal facts with me a LOT. The other day he woke me up, his face mere inches from my own, to tell me that male mosquitos actually don't drink blood - it's just females. So the zoo at least provides a framework for his animal facts, although it does mean we spend a lot of the time with him correcting me.
Anyway, fresh off our latest zoo experience, I overheard a lot of parents having nearly identical conversations to my own, so I pulled it together into a very scientific chart.