Cut Yourself A Little Slack

Ah, Easter! The pastel-tinted holiday filled with frilly bonnets, dainty doilies, darling baskets, and countless ways for me to continue to disappoint my children. At least with other holidays, you can somewhat disguise your shortcomings by placing blame on an elf, or whatever, but Easter is unyielding. So own it. Here are some must-do activities to make your day hauntingly memorable. The Eggs Render the eggs inedible. buzzfeed These scientifically impossible hard-boiled eggs landed me smack dab in the middle of a Buzzfeed article alongside other parents who definitely also have their shit together. The Easter Rabid Place your kid...

This post originally appeared on Hamsterdam, a blog that I once wrote for, so named because the writers were all from Baltimore and season three of The Wire had just come out. So I don't think I need to say anymore about how old it is, but that explains why you'll see references to Jersey Shore, which I assure you were very relevant at the time. But I was reminded of its existence today and thought, "Hey, now that I have kids I relate to some of this stuff even more."  Life is harsh. And while adults realize this, we try to...

Don’t get me wrong, I'm all for kids expressing themselves artistically, but if I have to find a place to store one more piece of art, I'm going to lose it. It’s not all ‘good’ and some of it is actually ‘shitty’, but yet I keep it all. Because, love. I have storage bins FULL of paintings and drawings my darling children have created over the years, but I’m at max capacity. So, I've started getting crafty about different ways they can still show off their Jackson Pollock skills that don’t result in a trip to the storage unit with...

Looking back, I made a lot of mistakes in the time period between my friends and family starting to have kids and having my first one. No mistake is greater than responding to their pleas "not to get their kids anything for their birthday" with, "Oh, come on, kids are so fun to shop for! I'll just get them something small." Because, as I now appreciate as a parent, small toys can be just as bad as big ones. They are often sharp. Or loud. Or disintegrate into a dozen smaller pieces that find their way into every corner of your home. ...

Growing up, I think we all had a good idea of what the future would hold, all of which was highly informed by stellar media like the Jetsons, Tron, and Star Wars. It all made sense. Droids would be the norm, obviously. They'd attend school alongside our children, and to us they'd be coworkers, friends, fellow soccer mom/bots, etc. Pictured above: THE FUTURE. (Also, if you can name the above show, please comment on FB or IG because Whitney wants to be your friend.) Above our heads would be an elaborate transportation infrastructure of self-flying sleek, silver, LED light-adorned hover vehicles. All technology...